THAT WHICH GOES UNSAID...

The wars have been waged. A bomb fell the other day on my rooftop. Nothing much was destroyed, except the flower pot that bore the last rose of the season, and of course the room beneath it. Why did I say nothing was destroyed?? A room, a big room was grounded to dust. As I stood in front of that half shell of a room, I saw how little I had sufficed myself with. There was a bed, few clothes, a water jar and a series of empty shelfs. Except one. Where I kept all the love letters given to me by all my past lovers. and all the letters that I could have posted to one of them. And I value both. They didn't let me take the letters."You better forget those letters and them. Run for your life." I turned to go back. Some rose petals lay scattered. The last of the season. The last you planted for me. Amidst the dust.

Let me for the first time,lay in your absence in an empty bed, trying to fully process your loss.Let me for the first time accept that i had fallen in love with you.That said,a silence falls upon my heart.'Cause i have never quite owed up to loving someone as easily as   i did about you. And never quite have been misjudged for it. i couldn't bring myself to hate you. i lay sometimes in between the areas of love and not so love.Maybe you can call it hate. And i am in a proces of deleting the hate to see how much i had loved you. i am surprised by it. Kindering an emotion so strong in my broken soul must have taken some magic. Unravelling, for me was never an easy task.   Surrendering, could have been an option but i have been hurt too many times & in too many places, hating too many people in the process. and when i remove those hatred, i see you in a different light. Naive and as keen as me to receive love. But then what ...