THAT WHICH GOES UNSAID...

I  was dealing with depression and family responsibilities, yet trying to heal from trauma but you chose to leave me right then. Right when, I was gathering up courage , courage to finally owe up to a 7 year slow burn for you, waiting for you to finish your career goals when you left me. And not even a word before the final hour. Not even a warning , but a blow. I have loved you since the first day I met you.. since the first trip I took with you. Since the time we stared at a moonlit mountain together. You were a rock, my anchor. The day it all ended, I told my friend... I feel like a rudderless anchorless boat.. As I suffer through my personal troubles now, my failing health, I wish .. and I rage.. and I scream internally... YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN HERE. And although you never promised anything, it seems weird now that it was all me and zero of you in there.

Years have passed. We both stand reflecting our respective choices. Choices that shaped both of us now. Stand in the silences of those choices made. Come down to the silences of the reflection of your choices in me and mine in you. Let those mountains that once held our hearts together absorb our pain. Let the moon that once bound our clasped bodies shine on us separately now.  Let the rains that made us weave poetry together fall on our eyes and bodies washing away the pain that comes with a missing part of heart. Someone who cares about me now tells me to forget you. I will perhaps never forget you. There is always a place for that one person who you believed to share your life with. We both wanted to take the road less travelled. But the paths in the wood that we each took moved us away.  Will our paths ever merge? Maybe. Will we ever share a sunset or a moonrise again? Maybe, but not in each other's glow. I free you today. from the shackles of me. And I free myself from you.