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In conversation with myself on a midnight trying to mend a broken heart

Let me for the first time,lay in your
absence in an empty bed, trying to fully
process your loss.Let me for the first time
accept that i had fallen in love with you.That
said,a silence falls upon my heart.'Cause i have
never quite owed up to loving someone as easily as
  i did about you. And never quite have been misjudged
for it. i couldn't bring myself to hate you. i lay sometimes
in between the areas of love and not so love.Maybe you can
call it hate. And i am in a proces of deleting the hate to see how
much i had loved you. i am surprised by it. Kindering an emotion
so strong in my broken soul must have taken some magic. Unravelling,
for me was never an easy task.   Surrendering, could have been an
option but i have been hurt too many times & in too many places,
hating too many people in the process. and when i remove
those hatred, i see you in a different light. Naive and as
keen as me to receive love. But then what went
wrong? Another  world could have  given
the answer, just in time to let everything
become A story. Just in place so that i
wouldnt hurt you as much I did.

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