Skip to main content

In conversation with myself on a midnight trying to mend a broken heart

Let me for the first time,lay in your
absence in an empty bed, trying to fully
process your loss.Let me for the first time
accept that i had fallen in love with you.That
said,a silence falls upon my heart.'Cause i have
never quite owed up to loving someone as easily as
  i did about you. And never quite have been misjudged
for it. i couldn't bring myself to hate you. i lay sometimes
in between the areas of love and not so love.Maybe you can
call it hate. And i am in a proces of deleting the hate to see how
much i had loved you. i am surprised by it. Kindering an emotion
so strong in my broken soul must have taken some magic. Unravelling,
for me was never an easy task.   Surrendering, could have been an
option but i have been hurt too many times & in too many places,
hating too many people in the process. and when i remove
those hatred, i see you in a different light. Naive and as
keen as me to receive love. But then what went
wrong? Another  world could have  given
the answer, just in time to let everything
become A story. Just in place so that i
wouldnt hurt you as much I did.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Hiraeth

At the end of the disaster that swept Our streets with the twilight And seeped into our hearts  Like the moonbeams, What remained was a patch of purple On my dress. It was not your purple... It was of a mindful kid who drew blossoms of lavender on everything On my copies, my walls My dress. Yet why does a purple patch  Like the twilight And the disasters  Remind me of  times  That never were.
Post a Comment
Read more

you should have been there..

I  was dealing with depression and family responsibilities, yet trying to heal from trauma but you chose to leave me right then. Right when, I was gathering up courage , courage to finally owe up to a 7 year slow burn for you, waiting for you to finish your career goals when you left me. And not even a word before the final hour. Not even a warning , but a blow. I have loved you since the first day I met you.. since the first trip I took with you. Since the time we stared at a moonlit mountain together. You were a rock, my anchor. The day it all ended, I told my friend... I feel like a rudderless anchorless boat.. As I suffer through my personal troubles now, my failing health, I wish .. and I rage.. and I scream internally... YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN HERE. And although you never promised anything, it seems weird now that it was all me and zero of you in there.
Post a Comment
Read more

The Dirtier skin

"no ship will ever take you away from yourself"---Constantine Cavafy That was long ago. Very long ago. It was that particular time of year when the shadows dance around your face as the moonlight seeps through broken clouds. We lay close, your hands trying to sketch the reality into my ears----the existence of a career and success, of a circle of friends and family, of fame and of you.  Your soothing words were covering my eyes like a lullaby, I was slipping but slumber wasn’t heavy on my eyes. I heard your voice. I saw the clouds. There was something I was waiting for. I didn’t know. Maybe a kiss. You kissed me tight. I was still waiting. I looked at the sky. The place where the moon supposedly hid herself was dimly bright beneath the clouds. I heard you say something… "your skins dirty from all that walking. Go have a bath and see you at work tomorrow”. You left.  I lay there numb , playing with my hair …minutes lapsed …I don’t know when but I slipped into a...
Post a Comment
Read more